Navigating normality since 1993.

It’s My Own Funeral

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Today something happened that I didn’t think ever would. I mentally attended my own funeral. I didn’t really expect to ever attend my own service, as anyone can understand why, but something happened in church that I can’t explain.

Greg, the pastor, briefly discussed how when we put our purpose for life into other things, other people, money, etc. that we can never truly understand what the concept of salvation looks like. And I began to brush over Greg’s words. I’ve heard it all before: No one can serve two masters. (Matt 6:24)

Greg continued, that once we, as Christ-seekers, understand salvation that it would be absolutely impossible to remain who we are. And again, the “good little Christian girl,” began pulling passages from memory rather than allowing myself to be convicted by his words.

But then I recalled Galatians 2:20, a verse I have heard over and over, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live…” and Greg’s words meshed with the Word. My life was hung on a cross and put to rest. My ideals, my hopes, my plans, my everything. I have laid it all down in order to bear the cross, the gospel, the truth. Yet, I was still clinging to my old hopes and my old dreams. The desires of my own heart were not of Christ, but of me. This doesn’t mean that what I hope for in life and what I seek are bad; in fact I have no doubt that Christ wants these things for me! BUT I am not sure that my hope has ever been found in Christ alone.

I cling to the hope of one day being a wife, an author, a mother. I make dreams and plans to travel the world, to own a non-profit, and to potentially alter the way the secular world views Christian writing. BUT are these things of Christ? If or when any of these things never come true where would my hope be truly found? convicted.

So, I laid my life to rest. After years of laying down the bad, the guilt, the shame, and the regret. After years of Jesus so graciously taking all of those cups from me. I am now ready and able to give Him the good, the hopes, the aspirations, the desires.

Christ, Lover of my Soul and the Author of Time, You are it. Change me for Your better and make my life of You. Make Your dreams my dreams, and make Your life my life. I will seek You and the rest will come Lord, and when You give and take away I will still seek You. I will still honor You and praise You. For you are indeed good, all the time.

– Sarah

Friends, have you experienced the blessing of both giving Christ your burdens and also your blessings? I’d love to hear your story below!

4 thoughts on “It’s My Own Funeral”

  • Psalm 37:4 says “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” This is my favorite verse. I find it interesting that when we delight in the Lord, somehow He changes our desires to meet His plan for us and His desires/plans meet and change us ,and then miraculously, we are no longer sure where His plan/our plans merged and the perfect plan began. He works in mysterious ways. Just another of the many things that I love about Him!

    You Rock Sarah Moog! You will seek Him and find Him when you search for Him with all your heart. Keep on seeking! You have found Him! The more you seek, the more you find, and the more you desire Him. He is endless–alpha and omega.

    Thanks for challenging me and giving me new things to ponder. Just one of the many things I love about you!

  • Beth Moore said one time that she hoped when people look back at the sand of her life they would not see her footprints but that of the cross she pulled through the sand. I agree. My life will mean something if when people look back at it they see Christ & not me.

  • Wow! So true!!! That reminds me of the movie Facing the Giant’s or something like that. The one with Sandra Bulluck and the hugh Football player that came to live with them. Anyway, the coach said If we win we give the Lord praise and if we lose we give the Lord praise. Love it. I will praise him in the storm. Soooo hard to actually do. We miss you. What are you doing?

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